Back in Time
by Birkijo
Summary: There is trouble in the present day which's cause dates back to Merlin's days in Camelot. So, Merlin goes back to that time, in hopes that he can change the future, and resolve his past.


Merlin did not consider himself a pessimist, to be sure, but at the same time, it was difficult to hold back the wave of despair that washed over him, for all seemed to be lost. So much magic had died, long lost and never to be returned, and yet he persevered. Camelot fell and was cast into nothing other than legend, and yet he carried on. He saw the brilliance of the world perishing before his very eyes, but he stood firm. This, however, was unforgiveable. Inconceivable.

Merlin knelt by what was once the lake of Avalon turned into a twisted shadow of its past self by pollution and sucked dry. And for the first time since Arthur's death all those years ago, he wept.

"Gerry! Gerry look!" little Samantha, a young girl, was one of the few left with magic in her veins, like her father before her.

Merlin looked at the flame she had conjured in her palm and reacted with appropriate awe, "That is most impressive." He told her, "I knew you could do it."

Samantha beamed, "Thank you, Gerry, I think I'm going to show Bill."

"Don't bother him, please; it has been a rough day for him."

"A rough day?"

"Something very dear to him has recently been lost." Merlin said, thinking of Avalon's waters.

"Something dear? I thought the only thing dear to him was horsemeat." She wrinkled her nose.

"He is an old creature; it is only natural that he be upset by recent events." Merlin said softly.

Samantha didn't seem to understand, but she nodded anyway, "If you say so Gerry." And she ran off to show someone else her feat, no doubt.

Merlin looked to the castle she was off towards, a replica of Camelot; one he had commissioned, though it had several improvements, like plumbing, electrical, and AC, not to mention doors you did not have to stoop to walk through. He felt a flush of pride at its sight, knowing that most of the last remnants of magic was safely kept in its walls. Suddenly, the beating of large wings sounded above him, and he tilted his head up.

"Bill?" Merlin called.

The dragon settled in front of him with an irate huff, "You know very well my name is not Bill." He huffed, "Must you refer to be as such?"

"The children are fond of the name." Merlin said with a shrug, "It's not such a big deal."

"The adults treat me like a joke." Bill snarled.

"That's because they met you when you were the intimidating Aeolbryht. They connect with you more, doesn't that make you happy?" Merlin asked teasingly.

Bill snorted, "Not at all. In any case, that is not what I am here to talk to you about."

Merlin sighed, "I thought not."

"The lake, is gone then? Truly?"

"I made my trip there and well…" Merlin let out a soft sound of sorrow. "I can't believe it… I should have stopped it."

Bill was, surprisingly, gentle in his answer, "It is not your fault, you had responsibilities, you were only protecting the last of magic that exists." He referred to Merlin's latest trip to Mexico, finding young sorcerers and sorceresses to take in and teach the old ways.

"Even so, without the lake, without any piece of Camelot left, how will Arthur return?"

"I can't say." Bill answered softly.

"I miss Arthur and Gaius and my mother and Will and Lancelot and Gwaine and Guinevere and even Morgana… even _Uther_! I would give anything to have even one of them return. How come, after all this time I still miss every single one of them so much?"

"Because you cared for them so much." Bill replied.

"Other people care about their friends and family, and other people lose their friends and family, but other people _move on_, I can't seem to do even that every waking moment since their deaths…!" Merlin sat heavily on the ground, head in his hands.

"You are extraordinary in ways that have nothing to do with magic." Bill uttered seriously, "You have an amazing capacity for love, more than any other living thing I have ever met."

Merlin laughed, a bit hysterical, "You haven't met many creatures then, you hermit, I'm nothing special."

Bill looked ready to argue, but then stopped at Merlin's hand wave.

"In any case, something is very wrong. The Earth, and Magic itself is dying. I've waited long enough for Arthur to rise again; I can't help but think I must have missed something." Merlin furrowed his brow, "I must go back."

"Go back? Where?"

"To Arthur, I have to stop him from dying, properly this time."

"Stop him from…? Oh, Merlin, even if you could go back, what would saving Arthur solve? He would still have died too long ago for him to do something about this mess. Not to mention, you could make everything _worse_-."

"I won't make it worse, I'll make it better, not just with Arthur, but everyone I've ever failed, all the people who have died because of me over the years."

"Merlin-."

"If anyone can do it, I can." Merlin said assuredly. He touched the sword at his waist, the one that never left his side nowadays. "I will find a way to go back in time. A long way back."


End file.
